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A "Fowl" Stroke. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
A "Fowl" Stroke. Fittingly clad in Norfolk suit antd hop-scotch stockings, Lofter 'Greeie strode forth to play his daily round of "goff." Just as he was about -to "tee off," however, an old woman dashed out of an adjacent cottage and hailed him. "Are you the man who was playin' here yesterday?" she cried.. "I was playing here yesterday!' re plied Lofter pompously. "Then I reckon your sport'll cost you 'arf-a-sovereign," said the wo man. "You've been an' killed one o' my prize 'ens!" "Preposterous!"' exclaimed Greene. "There wasn't a fowl about!" "Dessay there -weren't!" replied the woman. "But, after you'd gone, I found a golf-ball, and poppel it under one o' my 'ens for a nest-egg!" "Well?" said the golfer. "It ain't well!" snapped the lady. "'Cos that 'en's dead of a broken 'eart through thinkin' I wanted it to lay crinkley eggs!"
THE HOUSEKEEPER'S OUNCE. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
THE HOUSEKEEPER'S OUNCE. An ounce of granulated sugar equals two. -level teaspoonfuls. An ounce of flour, four level tablespoonfuls. An ounce of i.utter, two level teaspoon fuls. An ounce of ground coffee, five level tablespoonfuls. An ounce of thyme, eight level tablespoonfuls. An ounce of pepper, four level tablespoon fuls. An ounce of salt, two level tablespoonfuls. An ounce of mus tard, four level tablespoonfuls. An ounce of chopped suet, a fourth of a cupful.. 'An: ounce of olive oil, two tablespoonfuls.
HOW WOMEN LOSE HEALTH. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
HOW WOMEN LOSE HEALTH. Said a physician:-"I wonder that women fail to appreciate how _much nervous force as well as thysicat strength they consume in worryiig over the little things of life. L9&rk at the mother ana housewife as -she goes about her taos, and obser·h6w often she utters n impatient ev.lam ation, how. often \she starts. neP ous ly at a noise from one of the children. And each time that she loses control over herself,, her nerves, her temper, she loses just a little nervous force, just a little physical well-being, and moves a.- fraction of an inch farther on in the path. that leads to pre mature old age and to invalidism." Constant laughter is no sure sign of a happy nature; more often than not it is only a sign of good teeth.
WOMEN WHO BOSS. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
WOMEN WHO BOSS. Woman has every right to be Inde pendent, but the moment she becomes "bossy' she loses her charm. A woman's strongest weapon is gentleness, and the wise woman knows?' it. The average man can be led, but he is very apt to baulk when driven. If you must have your own way, get it by gentle, not by sledge-hammer methods. No man likes to feel that he is a cypher in his own house. Woman has her own domain, and it is quite right that she should be the queen of it, but when she also wants to be king, prime minister, and entire cabinet, she is over-stepping her bounds. There is nothing very lovable ab6ut the woman who always wants to. lead in everything. You don't feel like putting your arm about .her or giving her a loving little pat every -time you pass her. And as for telling her your secrets, you never dream of that. She will give you advice ad' libitum; and, ' what's more, she will insist that you take it, which is very tiresome. We often ask for advice which we have no ...
Races to Come. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
Races to Come. -0- Saturday, January 10-Port Fairy Saturday, January 17-Warrnambool Orford-Saturday, January 24 Saturday, January 31-Panmure Saturday, February .7-Hawkesdale Thursday, February 12-Portland Saturday, March 7-Cobden Saturday, March 14-Garvoc Tuesday, March 17-Koroit Saturday. March 21 Hexham Tuesday, March 24-Caramut Easter Monday (April 13)-Penshurst Saturday, April 25-Port Fairy May 5, 6, 7-Warrnambool May 13; 14--Coleraine Saturday, May 16--Kirkstall May 20, 21-Casterton
Awkwardly Put. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
Awkwardly Put. A nephew's reply to the aunt who had sent him a bottle of cherries in brandy was as follows.-"My dear Aunt,-A thousand thanks for your kind gift. I appreciate the cherries immensely, .not so much for them selves as for the spirit in which they are sent.-Your affectionate Nephew."
Bowling W.D.B.A. PENNANT FIXTURES. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
Bowling W.D.B.A. PENNANT FIXTURES. This is a list of the dates of matches between the four clubs forming the Wes tern district association. January 17-Terang v Port Fairy Saturday, January 24-Port Fairy v Camperdown Saturday, Feb. 7-Terang v Warrnam bool February 14-Camperdown v Port Fairy. Warrnambool v Terang Matches to be played on green of olub first mentioned. • Saturday, February 2I-Champion rink competition at Warrnambool February 28-Champion of champions, at Warrnambool; 31 up
A NEW CURTAIN LECTURE. Mr. Caudie Has Lent a Car-Fare to a Friend. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
A NEW CURTAIN, LECTURE. Mr. Caudle Has L"ent a Car-Fare to a Friend. "Throwing your- money away again, Mr. Caudle! You always were a fool. I'd like to know who'd lend you a car-fare when you run. short, and short it is you always will be while ever you've such high notions of being liberal. I wonder where you get such notiofts! Not from your hard-working wife, Mr. Caudle! No, indeed, and you know it; and you needn't growl- like that. But I can work, and I can slave from morning to night and wear -my finger-ends to fiddle-strings! But what do you care, Mr. Caudle, so long as you can be generous with your swell friends and lend them car-fares? "But you always were a fool. I only wish they knew you as I know you. Ah, me! The things we might have done with that threepence. There's Jack, bless his innocent little heart. He wants a new ball to play with, and threepence would buy one. Where's the other one, you say? Well may you ask, when you know that old cat across the street kept it whe...
Sheep Dipping. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
- Sheep Dipping. We are desired by the Chief t Inspector under the Sheep Dipping r Act,. Department of Agriculture, to intimate to sheep owners that the Amending Sheep Dipping Act 1913 abolishes, the clean .certificatej ro vided for under .the Act of 1909, c and prescribes that, with only one. minor exception, all sheep --and lambs must be dipped off shears, t or kept in a securely fenced pad dock and dipped within sixty days. A-return of sheep dipped must be furnished to the Chief Inspector, Department of Agriculture, within thirty days of dipping. The period during which an owner may not be compelled to dip unshorn sheep and lambs is reduced to the period, April to October, both months inclusive.
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
PHENIX ASSURANCE CO. LTD. ESTD. 1782. FIRE. ACCIDENT. EMPLOYERS* LIABILITY. LOSSES PAID EXCEED £85,oo000,0. Losses by BUSH FIRES and by LIGHTNING are madb good by this Company. AGENTS WANTED. VICTORIA 461 TO 471 BOURKE ST., F01- MELBOURNE DALCETY A CO. LTD., AGBNTL Prentice-st., East St. Kilda. September 2, 1913. Mr. Brin,-I, a mother of eleven chil dren, write to help if possible hard-work ing mothers who have young children at tending school.' I think you should make known your Pedic Pomade for the head. Its effect is miraculous. My girls attend the Windsor Convent School, and their heads have been shown as an example of good, the effect of Pedic Pomade. In justice to mothers who, unfortunately, have to go out working it should be more generally known. I give you with a heart and a half permission to make any use you wish of this letter.-Yours, etc., (Mrs.) ALICE O'CALLAGHAN. Pedic Pomade for the head destroys Vermin and Nits; is sold by all Chemists and Stores, or posted by J. Br...
RAILWAY TIME TABLE. MELBOURNE TO PORT FAIRY. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
RAILWAY TIliE TAJBLE... MELBOUWNE TO POR FJII RY. A.M.. P.M. Melbourne . 6.3 . .3.50 Geelong ... .. arr 8. 5.23 dep 5,46 Colao ... arr i 7.50 dep 10.56k 8.9 ... arr 120 - 9.30 Camperdown... P.M. dep 12.14 9.58 arr 12.44 10.8 Terang ... ... dep 12.51 10.13 arr 1.57 10.38 Warrnambool ... dep 2.17 11.5 A.M. Port Fairy ... 3.43 12.15 PoRT FAIRY TO MELBOURNE A.M. P.M. Port Fairy .. ... dep 5.45 1.30 Wa rnambool ... arr 6.56 2.57 dep 7.11 3.15 Teran . ... arr 8.13 4.25 dep 8.18 4.35 Oamperdown ... arr 8.46 5.5 dep 8.58 5.23 Colao ..... ... arr 10.4 6.32 dep 10.19 6.52 Geelong ... arr 11.54 8.50 P.M, dep 12.5 9.5 Melbourne ... 1'23 10.38" toLIDAY ExcuRsioN FARES. Ist Return 2nd Return Melbourne.. ... 37s 10d 25s 2d Geelong ...... 28s 10d 19s Id Ballarat .. .. 39 8d 26e 5d Colao ... .. 18s 6d 12e 5d Camperdown ... 12a 9d 8S 6d Terang .....10s ld 6s 8d Warrnambool .. 4a .3d 2s -10d Koroit .. ... 2. 5d is 7d Hamilton . ... 12a 9d 8s 6d
Saved by Order [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
Saved by Order. There is a story told on the author ity of the "Shipping World" that will appeal to seafaring readers. A revi valist went on board one of the ships of the line to confer with the Admiral and the following conversation.- en sued:-"I've called to see you, sir, about the state of yeligion in the fleet. We have had a glorious awakening in the Arethusa, and I want to interest yoiur menein the subject of their ever. lasting welfare." "Ah!" "Yes, sir, we baptised ten men in the Arethusa yesterday." ".The deuce you did! Here, captain - , order out twenty men for bap tism first thing to-morrow morning. I'll be hanged if I'll be beaten by any Arethusa in this service!"
Comstock's Nerve and Bone Liniment [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
Comstock's Nerve and Bone Liniment Is a powerful .penetrating preparation, which acts through the pores of the skin on the nerves, bone, and muscles. It possesses the marvellous properties of an immediate pain-killer, and is un equalled as a remedy for the pains and aches t6 which human ebeings are sub ject, and which only an external re medy can relieve. It overcomes all pains and aches by relieving the effect on the delicate nerves, causing the circulation of the blood to be fully maintained through the injured part. It is an invaluable remedy for sprains and for reducing all swellings, which under its influ ence become softened and disappear. Rheumatism, Sciatica, and Lumbago all yield to the powerful, penetrating and conquering properties of this Lini ment if used in connection with Dr. Morse's Indian Root Pills according to directions. For Stiff Joints, Neuralgia, Lame. Back, Scalds, Burns, Contracted Muscles and Painful Swellings it will be found that Comstock's Nerve and Bone...
Macarthur Mems. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
Macarthur Mems. (From a Correspondent). New Year's Eve and the early part of the following morning passed over in a very quiet manner, not a single incident having to be recorded, thanks to the vigilance of Constable Pickett. Dave Stewart, the firmer from Bya duk, was committed to the Ararat Asylum by the Hamilton court, after the medical men had sworn that the unfor tunate" man was not responsible for his acts. Stewart, when arrested, had a de posit for A;800 in one ot his pockets. - Mr M. Casey has disposed of his pro duce business to Mr Taylor, and intends going into farming pursuits on his own property. Strong evidence was shown of the popularity of Mr Handfield, who, for a period of about seven years has been manager of the Macarthur branch of the Colonial bank, when on Tuesday evening, at the Victoria hotel, upwards of 60 resi dents of the district assembled to bid him farewell, prior to his departure for Nagambie. The function took the form of a smoke night, and refreshments ...
"A Man of Straw." [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
'" ' Man of Straw." The phrase " a man of straw " had its origin in England at a time when men might easily be pro cured to furnish evidence upon oath in almost any emergency. It appears that persons of this des cription were accustomed to walk openly in Westminster Hall-with a strbw projecting from their shoes, thus signifying that they sought employment as witnesses ; hence the expression. An advo cate who desired a convenient witness knew by this .sign where to find one, and the colloquy be tween the two was brief. ' Don't you remember?" the advocates would ask. The party would glance at the fees and give no sign, but when the fee was in creased his powers of memory were increased with it, and straw shoes went into court and swore as desired.
Port Fairy Telephone Exchange LIST OF SUBSCRIBERS. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
Port Fairy Telephone Exchange LIST OF SUBSCRIBERS. 1. Shipping Office 21. J. C. McOallum. 2. Lighthouse 22 H. Lyfield 3. Powell and Sons 23. R. A. Gibson 4. J. Goldie 24. Postmaster 5. J. Gray and Co. 25. M. Devereux 6. Hospital 26. Saltau and Son 7. Town Hall 27. Mr Powling's 8. H. qwann House 9. Guyett and Sons 28. Rev Jessop 10. E. W. Powling 29. Police Station (Office) 30. Dr Lyons 11. Railway Station 31.,J. C. Holden & Co 12. Star ofhe West Office 13. 32 Mrs Whiting. 14. E. Hanley 33. F. Freckleton Gazette 34. N. Corson 15. Dr Orchard 35. J. Gauley 16. Douglas House 36. J. C. Holden house 17. C. Jago 37. Jas.Boyd, Sol'tor 18, Com'ercial Hote 38. W. J. Tyler :19. Cramond's, 39. Father O'BRegan 20. H. G. Wilson
Port Fairy Golf Tournament [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
Port Fair Golf Tournament Office-bearers - President, Mr J. C. Ritchie; vice-presidents, Messrs W. C. Mardling and N. C. Graham ; captain, Mr P. H. Tullest ; vice-captain, Mr N. C. Graham; committee, Messrs J. Finn, J. Holden, C. Troy, Rev Rohan, T. Storey, S. Holden ; hon secretary and treasurer, Mr P. H. Tullett. A glorious blue sky, light south erly breezes and a pleasantly warm atmosphere ; these were the agree able conditions which attended those taking part in the Port Fairy Annual Golf Tournament, which opened on Southcombe Park yes terday (New Year's Day). This year's tournament fully maintains the popularity and prestige of the Club, and again the committee re ceived many laudatory speeches on the ideal situation, good appoint ments and general up-keep of the links; there can be no doubt of the sincerity of the visitors for they re turn year after year to play golf in Port Fairy. Most of the compli ments are passed on to Mr P. H. Tullett, on whom the bulk of the strenuous w...
THE GRAIN SEASON. [Newspaper Article] — Port Fairy Gazette — 2 January 1914
THE GRAIN SEASON. We are in receipt of Messrs Dalgety. and Co's annual grain circular, "which is of.particalar in terest at this juncture to farmers and others. To- those who desire to hold their wheat, the form allows three month's free storage on all grain received into store before 31st March next. A lot of useful infor mation appears in the circular, in cluding statistics of the world's wheat crop, the Australian yield for the past 9 years, and the pro duction of oats, barley and maize for the preceding four seasons treatment of smut of weeat, various tables of lands and other measure ments, treatement of sunstroke, etc. Copies of the circular can be had on application to Messrs Dalgety and Co., Melbourne.