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Humorous Column. Took the Little Man's Part. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
Humorous Column. ] Took the Little Man's Fart. A sailor whose ship had been paid off at Sydney took the tram for Waterloo. Before he entered the tram he armed himself with a bottle of rum, so that when he arrived at his destination he was very mixed. ' Waterloo V shouted the conductor. * All right, never mind about the ' water,' let's have some more ram,' replied Jack. At last they 'emptied' Jack oat of the carriage. Slouching along towards Botany, he saw two men busily engaged in sawing a block ot wood with a cross cut aaw in a wood and coal yard. One man was very tall and the other very Bhort. After looking at them for some time through half-closed eyes Jack entered the yard, and, without any warning, knocked the tall man down. * What's that for ?" shouted the injured man. 'Look yere,' said Jack, ' I've seed yon a-trying to take that saw away from the little 'un for ever so long. Just you let him have it, will yer ? If yer don't, I'll blind yer with science. Remember, Fm thB bloke...
A New Time Table. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
A ï|eipr lime Table. Anew; by the altemtidn-liiiBi popular, leave midday, in the of tearing} leave at a.m. Ii' ingthe^ have of morning^ 20 minrite8 | 3 we haye w§, . - . War axe being, jfegp Clyde,. «o..|%r pun&lt;3tually;>K'= tent agitatn vigorous * dents. remedied. day. ole has been issued j itoners, in which an . made which is in no wise I pdnesdays the train will I lr 15 a. m. instead of ion has also been made 3 goods train. Instead at 10*15 p.m. it will arrives back at 8 Í seen that notwithstand- j at ourselves and others | to the late delivery it is timed to arrive j [heretofore. However, that arrangements [ lave less shunting at the train running js jiot the case-a persis - be set afoot, and a by tiie district resi st inconvenience is j stable started to
[?]cal Joke. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
A «ui^lig^^B^oñ Saturday, which happüy nV^S^^^^Bis results. It appears some M P^^^B|Hser ^°ok advantage of Mr. Geor^fQ-^^^B-temporary absence to &lt;rross-í3Í^K|j^p*e result being that the horse becSQjj^Hm&gBgsable, and careered along March-^Bt,' and - ultimately ran into a post, throwflKut both occupants, besides breaking the 3&snuul harness. The occu pants esca|»e^KJ^ight shaking,
CHURCH SERVICES. SUNDAY, OCTOBER 8, 1899. CHURCH OF ENGLAND. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
CHURCH SERVICES. _._- ?*?_ ?- . . SUNDAY, OCTOBER 8, 1899. CHURCH OP ENGLAJTD. St, Matthew's, Windsor, liam, and 7*80 p.m. Preacher, Ber. S. G. Fielding. Kt» Peter's, Richmond, ll and 7, Agnes Banks. 3 30. Ber. J. H. Price. St. Paul's, Riverstone, 7 p.m., Divine Ber -, Tice, ;. :'»*4.' WESLEYAN. ' Windsor, ll, Rev. J. E. Carruthers ; 7> Mr. 8. Dart. Richmond ll, Mr. S. Dart ; Ber. J E. Carruthers. Enfield, ll, Mr. A. Lane. Kurrajong, S. Mr. «. Dart. Wil berfoice, 3, Rev. J E. Carruthers. ROMAN CATHOLIC. Windsor. 1st Mass, 8 o'clock ; 2nd Mass/ 10*30 o'clock. Evening Devotions, 7 p,m, Rev. Father McDonnell. CONGREGATIONAL. Morning ll. Evening 7. Thursday, evening 8, Freeman's Reach, Sunday afternoon 3. PEESBYTEEIAN. Richmond, ll, subject, " The African Situ" ation-War ? " Bev. Dr. Cameron ; 7*30, sub' j- ct *. The Discipline of Life.** Rev. J. J. F L Fergusson. Kurrajong, 3, Rev. J. J. C. L Fergusson. . i
Advertising [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
RELIABLE FURNITURE, Carpets, Bedstads, and Bedding, «P 'AND WHERE TO GET IT. A. HALL & COMPANY, CORNER GEORGE AND LIVERPOOL-STREETS. DRAWING-ROOM SUITE Zn Tapestry and Plash, Conch, Pair Easy Chairs, and 4 Carved Che irs, for £4 10s; SO others, 5, 10, to 20 guineas, at HALL'S. DINING-ROOM SUITE, VERY STRONG COUGH, Pair Easy and 6 Small Chairs, all Spring-seated and Padded Back, 6 guineas ; 20 others, 7, 12, and 20 guineas, at HALL'S. BEDROOM SUITE. WALNUT COLOUR or POLISHED PINK, Wardrobe. Plate Glass Door and Drawers, Dnches»e Chest Drawers, with glass.. attached. Marble Top WaBbBtttnd. Towel Rail, and Cane Chair, £6 15s. 30 Bedroom "Unites to sele:t from 9, . 12,18 to 60 guineas. PULL BIZ'S HALF TESTER BEDSTEAD Brass Rail, Doable-wire Mattress, and Best Bed Wood Flock, with Best Kapok Bedding, £410s. 50 Latest Design Bedsteads to select from at HALL'S. A, HALL & COMPANY, The Universal House Furnishers, 561, 563, 565, 567 George-street, SYDNEY. * Country Orders Pack...
A Wealthy Man [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
A Wealthy Ulan Probably the wealthiest coloured man in Chicago is Mr. T^ewis Bates, who is rated at nearly £100,000. He ls entirely uneducated, dresses poorly, and lives like a poor man. He was born a slave nearly seventy years ago. In 1861 he reached Chicago by the "underground railroad," and began by working in a foundry. He soon became an express man, and at once began Investing his savings in real estate. In this he has shown excellent judgment, and nearly all his investments are gilt-edged. Though he spends little money on him away.
CRICKET. Hawkesbury District Cricket Union. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
, CRICKET. Hawkesbury District Cricket Union. A meeting of delegates of the H.D.C.U. was held at the Royal Exchange Hotel, Windsor, on Satuiday night, when the Presi dent (Mr, B. Hall) occupied the chair. Thc delegates present were : Messrs, W. E. Forbes and G. Robbins (Riverstone), Meg* gott and McKUlop (H. A. College), H. A. Bowman and F. Camphall (Windsor), W. Gordon (Wilberforce); and H. McDonald (Kurrajong). A letter was received from Mr. W. Mor* gan, M,L*A., thanking the Union for re electing him as Patron, accepting the office, and promising a donation. The secretary was instructed to acknowledge Mr. Morgan's letter and thank him for his promised dona tion. The Rev. B. Keenan wrote declining to accept office as a vice-President, as he had hitherto been Pjesident of the Union, and had always helped district Clubs. Mr. Hall said he regretted exceedingly that the Rev. Mr. Keenan had been slighted, and that by its action the Union had offended such a staunch and loyal friend. Mo ...
The Innocent Boy. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
The Innocent Boy. ! There was a bridal couple from Canada coming over the ferryboat yesterday afternoon. They were young and tender, and as they sat together in the cabin they had hold of hands. This is per fectly proper and right, and we've ali been there. Among those who looked on, however, was a lad of tender years, accompanied by his mother. The boy gazed and gazed, and finally turned to his mother and exclaimed in a voice loud ' enough for all to hear : " Say, maw, that girl wants to wipe i her nose and that fellow won't let her."
Pith and Point. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
Pith and Point* A wise man's day ls worth a fool's life. Wine invents nothing:, it only tattles. -Schiller. Shoes were not made *' rights and lefts" until 1472. A woman is irresistible only when she doesn't know it. There's a great deal of scatter to a Woman's judgment. If we gave the devil his due we might give ourselves away. There are more men ennobled by study than by nature.-Cicero. Valour employed in an ill quarrel turns to cowardice.-Massinger. « Most people, like clocks, show in their faces the result of their works. Silence, when nothing need be said, is the eloquence of discretion.-Bovee. An army trooper's horse carries on an average a weight of two hundred and ' seventy pounds. Greek ladies are said to have had one hundred and thirty-seven different styles of dressing the hair. An association to enable Mohammedan widows to secure second husbands has been formed in Turkey. In Arran, here the maidenhair ferns grow plentifully, some of the Inhabi tants use it as a substitute...
The Dectrine of Chances. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
Tbc D-efrinc «I Chancea. Lord Kaines used to relate the story of a man who claimed the honour of his acquaintance on rather singular grounds. His lordship, when one of the justiciary Judges, returning, from the north circuit to Perth, happened one night to sleep at Dunkeld. The next morning, walking towards the ferry, but apprehending he had missed his way, he asked a man whom he met to conduct him. The other answered with much cordiality, " That I will do, with all my heart, my lord ; does not your lordship remember me ? My name's John -- ; I have had the honour to be before your lordship for stealing sheep !" " Oh, John, I remember you well ; and how is your wife ? she had the honour to be before me, too, for receiving them, know ing them to be stolen." " At your lord ship's service. We were very lucky, we got off for want of evidence ; and I am still going on in the butcher trade." " Then," replied his lordship, " we may have the honour of meeting again."
Might Have Been Pope. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
ITfigfat Bare Been Pope. The Italian papers have another anec dote of Signor Crispi, the Italian Pre mier. Crispí and Cardinal Holenhohe have been close friends for many years. During one of Signor Crispi's visits to him the German Cardinal had placed his red Cardinal's cap upon the table. ^Signor Crispi took it up and began to examine it with curiosity, when the Cardinal, taking it from him, placed it upon the Premier's head. saying : " What a fine Cardinal you would make Î I feel sure you would have become one had you been a priest" To this remark Signor Crispi dryly replied : " Perhaps I would have become Pope."
John Bright and Milton. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
Jahn Krigfat «nd nilton. Mr. John Bright once quoted the lines from Milton : I argue not Against Heaven's hand or will, nor bate a jot Of heart or hope ; but still bear up and steer Right onward.' The reporter was not familiar with the passage, and, having no idea that Mr. Bright was quoting poetry, he turned it into prose, in the third person, as follows : " He would not argue against the hand or will of Heaven, nor would he bate a jot of heart or hope. He would still bear up and steer right on ward."
PRIVATE LOSS—PUBLIC GAIN [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
PRIVATE LOSS-PUBLIC GAIN Such is a common result ; and it it so now. C. G. Hatte bas purchased the whole of the salvage stock cf the SJ. Hatte, lately wrecked on the Hawkesbury. The stock consists of drapery, clothing, boots, hats, etc All this season's goods, newest and most fashionable, and only slightly damaged by fresh water. Hatte has determined to give his Windsor and district patrons the benefit of this sale. Must be sold at once for. cash ; in fact sacrificed. The biggest bargains ever offered. C. G. HATTE, Windsor.*
Golf. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
vllf#,t' . Monday rickvüle Richmond the visitón RlCHMOK] Bay), a party of Mar- ! a match with the links of the latter, 21 holes. MARRICKVILLE G. C. Holes J. Rowley.. 0 E. W.Boake ... 0 J. E. Stokes ... S J. Hay ... 7 A. T. Jones _.. 2 P. J. Gannon ... 7 H.A. Langley... 14 Dr. Patrick ... 0 38 O. T. Masson; E. F. Weir ¿ F. G. SF« Rev. J. W. J. Younga C. J. Lawson" E Campbell * G. E. Colíett^S. ??; ? . ; a . 17 . The lowest *eô»éjaî âie round was 100 by C. T. Mussoal* i&'3fc:?Weir was 98 for 17 holes (approii|iately lOt for the complete 18). The lowjgstirisaars' round was 112 by J. Rowley. T^^naens were in good order and the vîsitoÇ were very pleased with the links. Mr. BaldwiCiias decided to send Alfonso, th« racehorefJBfeîk to Manila, for' which place he leavtw^Monday next. Mr. BrinslejpSäl invited those gentlemen who took parfeji the Richmond high-level bridge deputa^m on Thursday, to dine with him in Sydney&n Hist day. Creeper, thsjwinner of the last race at the re...
Spray. Haircutting by E'ectricity. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
Spray» ?InlrrntiinK bj- B'vclricity. There seems to be almost no practical limit to the applications of electricity in the service of man. An announcement in our columns a short time ago (says " Invention" of an electrical device for extracting teeth was regarded with much interest and some scepticism ; now we learn of an electrical haircutting and singeing apparatus which is, we believe, actually doing satisfactory work in New York City. So, at last, even the hair dresser's calling is threatened in a mea sure by another adaptation of that subtle power. The contrivance appears to consist of a comb, over the teeth of which is stretched a platinum wire. A push or switch arranged over the handle of the comb enables the barber to throw a current of electricity through the teeth of, or wire over, the same, and ¡ thus raise the temperature to a bright I hear. The comb is then passed through , the hafar, which it " cuts" or singes off, it j is stated, as smoothly and skilfully as ) an expe...
Another New Woman. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
Another Mew Woman. Mr. John Lane is sponsor for quite a number of authors of the sex till lately called the " weaker," who have de veloped a style and graphic force de cidedly masculine in delineating the modern phenomenon denominated " The New Woman," and in his latest number of the Keynote Series-"At the Relton Arms"-he has given the authoress, Evelyn Sharp, an opportunity of depict ing the eccentricities of a beautiful, romantic, but flighty and unstable young lady. This young person, Lady Joan Relton, In a fit of impulsiveness, en gages herself to a fashionable musician as inconstant in matters of the heart as herself. Her views on marriage are i now conventional-in fiction :- , " Don't you see how marriage always j spoils things ? It is never romantic ; it is expedient, that is all. It does for people who are not fond of one another, or for people who do not feel such things ; but for two people who are in love, and one of them a hypersensitive musician bah ! it would be madnes...
Love's Failures and Follies. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
Love's Failures and Follies. There is a jaundiced - egotism (says joseph Hatton, in the Newcastle (Eng.) " Weekly Chronicle") in the new gospel of marital misery, a poor disappointed selfishness in the plea for free love. The most jaundiced pessimist must admit that there are happy marriages, homes of sweet content, men and women united io. legal bonds who go through life to the md in a blissful companionship. When Mr. Mallock asked " Is life worth liv ing ?" he had to confess that it is waste of labour to try and convince a happy man that he really must be miserable. But this is the attitude of certain men and women who have failed as lovers, married or single, towards those who Lave not. Every writer of poetry or fic tion, every essayist draws his illustra tions of life from his own experiences. Those who have been most disappointed make the most noise with their splutter ing pens, and just now it would seem as if the men and womeu who have proved marriage to be a failure in their...
The Home. Miserable, Though Married. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
The Home. [ Miserable, Though Harried. I Joseph Hatton, in the Newcastle (Eng.) " Weekly Chronicle," has the fol lowing sharp rap at the "new moral ity" : " If yon are married, yon must be miserable. This seems to be the doc trine of certain philosophers in petti coats. The parable has been taken hp by the sympathetic' male. True and noble love desires no legal ties. It wants no marriage' bonds. It must lire its poem as the birds of the air and the beasts of the field live theirs. That ls the idea of * The Woman Who Did.' It was the notion of * I Forbid the Banns,' and the first of the trio which was called. ' The New Antigone.' It is the under lying motif of ' The Notorious Mrs. Ebb smith.' And yet neither the dramatists nor the novelists bring the high-souled &lt; female through her experiment with any 1 satisfaction to herself, to (the man she leads astray, or to the audiences who sit . at the feet of the preachers and fol low their problems. It is a weary busi j ness, fl...
An American Explosion. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
An American Explosion. The dangers of nitro-glycerine are ex emplified in a truly American report of an accident near Bluffton. Twelve hundred pounds of the explosive were piled on a waggon, and were being driven along a country road, when the wi! eel caught a tree root, the waggon was overturned, and. the nitro-glycerine exploded. A hole 60ft. in diameter and 15ft. deep was driven in the road : cattle were killed In the adjoining fields, win dows were broken two miles away, and the only remains of the cause of the ac cident that could be discovered were some fragments of the driver's clothing and of the horse, which were picked up a mile from the spct. A photograph, taken after the explosion, corroborates the above to the extent of showing that something had taken pla««.
Queer Ways To Advertise. [Newspaper Article] — Hawkesbury Advocate — 6 October 1899
Queer Way« To Advertise. j Ideas which have Made Fortunes. The traveller in America cannot fail to be struck by the universality of the advertisement. It meets the eye in every possible place-walls, pavements, and even the trees in the woods being made use of by the bill-poster. In Eng land most people advertise ; in America nearly every one does. ¡ The nature of the advertisement, too, differs entirely from our own, inasmuch as, while the greater part of our adver tisements are simply public announce ments, setting forth the virtues of the articles on sale, the American adver tisements, for the most part, are com posed of curious ideas and startling in congruities, which serve , not so much to extol the goods as to attract the notice of the public to the advertiser. Some of the means adopted to obtain this pub licity are so extreme that it is doubtful if they could be carried out in this country. Take, for instance, the following :-A certain large firm of drapers in Brooklyn employ...